Ollie's Road Home

Happiness is always a coincidence

2011-06-02T19:11:00.000+01:00

Unbelievable.

a) It is a warm sunny day. 25 C (or 77 F for centigrade challenged).

b) No wind.

c) It's school holidays.

d) I took today as a holiday!!

Milla and I went to the beach.

Blanket, water, strawberries, crispy bat wings, sweet cherries, Ploughman's sandwich, bread sticks, Cadbury creme egg, board shorts, vests, Crocs, sunglasses, Harry Potter, Daily Mail. No sunscreen, in my opinion we are too far North and need all exposure to sun-light we can get, so as not to cause rickets.

I still cannot get over the fact that the sun was shining and we actually managed to get there, spend 4 hours there, it did not rain, I did not have to leave Milla at childminder's and be stuck in the office.

The trick with Shields beach is to get there early-ish. Those locals that one would want to avoid emerge after noon, just as the wind starts to pick up, and the tide comes in after 2 pm, compressing population. I cannot cope successfully with wind, tide and juvenile delinquency all in one go, but we've had a lovely 3 hours paddling in clear water that was actually above freezing, Milla building sandcastle mill ('D'you geddit Mam - mill - Milla?'), and we finished off with some chips.

A day off doesn't get better than this. I know I need to appreciate every moment, not just the good ones, but the goods ones make me happy.

Place That Makes Me Feel Content

2011-05-03T19:04:00.000+01:00

Reighton Gap beach. No amusements arcade, no fairground, no ice-cream kiosks. Just walk and walk for miles, looking for pebbles with holes made by sea creatures.

A memory is what is left when something happens and does not completely unhappen

2010-08-16T19:08:00.001+01:00

Squinting into the low sun of an August afternoon, I felt like someone joining a secret society — one I’d really wanted to belong to. As a child I had tried to ride a bike, but I’ve outgrown my first bike pretty fast (it was pink with ‘Bunny’ written on it’s frame and had stabilizers), and I’ve never had another one. That was more than 30 (or 35?) years ago yet here I was, at last, setting foot to pedal in a glorious natural setting of our back lane and getting a bruise on my shin to prove it.

Why now? I don’t think I know. I’ve resisted my husband’s encouragement long enough. Then one day he lowered the seat on one of his bikes for me to sit a bit more upright, and I got on it. And off I went, wobbling along, trying to find my balance and a more or less comfortable position on the saddle.

There is a path behind our terraces of pit houses, lovely and green in summer months, just take no notice of piles of rubbish disposed by council estate inhabitants and you could be in a countryside.

I went along it, air rushing in my face, silly grin, white knuckles grip on the handles. Alone. Happy. The sun was bright and all was right – endorphines kicked in. The world was mine.

For an hour, I’ve had a most wonderful holiday.

No One Needs A Holiday So Much As The Person Who Has Just Had One

2010-06-06T11:58:00.000+01:00

Milla and I have just came back from Zakynthos; one-week fix which should keep me going for some time.

I think I am coping with being back.

It is not a bad thing that children should occasionally, and politely, put parents in their place.

2010-05-20T22:03:00.000+01:00

You know Mama, your attitude today was nice.

Why Do Russian Women Need Men

2010-05-11T19:01:00.003+01:00

I have never really though of myself as a feminist.

I cannot see how a government where 50% are women could be better than the one where women are 25% of the total; I don’t want to be treated the same way as a man at work because I want to work part-time to fit in with my family; I am happy to cook and clean (wearing powder blue shabby chic apron with pale pink roses) while my dear husband’s ‘doon t’pit’.

I don’t think women deserve special privileges just because women were discriminated against in the past.

But as I was looking at some pages on Russian Facebook (it’s called vkontakte.ru), I came across one of those PowerPoint slideshows (pearls of wisdom on appropriately sweet/funny/boring background images).

The slideshow made me want to put on some Dr.Marten’s, wash off my make-up, tie my blue microfibre duster to my rolling pin as a flag of my liberation and go and protest against something, preferably on barricades.

I was born a woman... I won’t be told how to become one.

Why Do Women Need Men.

1. Men have warm hands and we have cold fingers.
2. They are strong and can lift us.
3. Some day they will realize, if only for a minute, that we are the best.
4. They stick to their principles.
5. Sometimes they do the dishes.
6. They are taller than us and can reach books on high shelves.
7. They let us wear their coolest t-shirts.
8. When they say ‘I love you’ we know we exist.
9. They know and can explain that even when a man is alone, he is still a man.
10. They forgive us our feminism and we never forgive them anything.
11. They kiss our forehead when they cannot stay.
12. Their eyes water in strong wind.
13. They go to the shops when it’s raining.
14. They want to have our photos.
15. They cannot see any reasons for our diet.
16. They are quiet when we say stupid things.
17. When we say something clever, they are quiet too.
18. They’ll go to war if there is one.
19. They will not notice ruined make-up.
20. They want to change our lives.
21. They spend their last money on chocolate.
22. They don't think only about love.
23. Deep inside, they know how to mend their socks.
24. They don’t know the difference between Always and Kotex.
25. It’s not important to them what we are talking about.
26. They meet us at the airport.
27. When they leave, we stay.
28. When we think about our past, we think about them.
29. They can fight.
30. Their CDs are always in proper cases.
31. They can add up faster than us.
32. They make things that we are proud of.
33. They take us on holidays.
34. They are funny.

And no, it’s not one of those joke things. Comments at the bottom of the page were saying ‘how true’, ‘that is so sweet’, ‘totally love it’.

Try to differentiate them from a doormat.

Old Times Never Come Back And I Suppose It's Just As Well

2010-05-03T19:35:00.001+01:00

We've been to Beamish Museum today, so unreasonably cold for May.

Beamish is like Marmite for me, I cannot figure out do I love it or hate it. Some of their volunteers are a bit too enthusiastic - bordering on weird I would say. I've spotted a guy in his 40s predending to be a schoolboy, who knows what was going through his mind as pretendy schoolmistress was shouting at him to get in line!

Milla clearly loves Beamish, the mine most of all (best moment when pretendy miner turns the light off). In any case it's a good walk in fresh air.

I like old houses with range stoves, smell of coal fires, coming out from the mine and seeing sunshine again, William Morriss wallpaper, pantries with rabbits and smoked fish, riding on the top deck of a bus.

I like self-containedness of old times.

Colin suffers the experience with a good face, for which I am truly greatful.

One's Blog Is One's Unedited Version Of Oneself

2010-05-02T20:45:00.001+01:00

My husband has gone live with his first blog!
http://www.colin-keeppedaling.blogspot.com/

The Greatest Gift Is A Passion For Reading

2010-04-17T18:37:00.000+01:00

It fills my heart with joy to see my daughter reading, all by herself.

I suspect she mostly taught herself to read with an aid of subtitles on TV.

I hope she will continue to discover the lasting pleasure of a good book, the total freedom that reading gives you.

For me reading is the same as breathing, cannot be without either of them. Sometimes it's my escape tool, way to avoid thoughts. Sometimes it gives me more satisfaction than really anything else.

A good book is the best of friends, the same today and forever.

The Coldest Story Ever Told

2010-04-10T18:13:00.000+01:00

Telegraph:

A US nurse put a seven-year-old Siberian boy she had adopted from a Russian orphanage on a one-way flight to Moscow with a note saying "I no longer wish to parent this child", when she found she could no longer cope with him.

A confused and upset-looking Artem Saveliev arrived unaccompanied in Moscow on a flight from Tennessee via Washington, on Thursday. He had with him a rucksack containing colouring pens, sweets and biscuits, which had been packed for the journey.

On his arrival, he gave immigration officials a typed note from his adoptive mother, Torry Ann Hansen, a nurse from Shelbyville, Tennessee, explaining in two succinct paragraphs why she no longer wanted a boy she adopted in September last year.

Some People Walk In The Rain, Others Just Get Wet

2010-04-09T16:53:00.000+01:00

I am the latter. My daughter is the former. She loves walking outdoors, and I feel guilty every time we go out for a walk because we don't do it often enough.

A Fine Spring Saturday

2010-03-27T16:41:00.000Z

Spring really does feel as though it's here now.

Today is a lovely day with lots of sunshine and even a chilly wind doesn't spoil it.

Fluffy white clouds move across a bright blue sky.

Doves and catkins, sure signs of spring for me.

Earrings by Association

2010-03-25T15:52:00.000Z

On a misty rainy day these chaps brought me some sunshine. Had to go to Accessorize and buy totally outrageous earrings.

My dear husband (Happy Birthday darling!) said 'Yee spend money leek wator' in such a nice way, although he clearly thinks I look like a cow with a saddle in them.

I am blessed to have a wonderful, understanding and loving husband. Cannot imagine my life without you, darling.

Wobbly Tooth

2010-03-17T17:01:00.000Z

My daughter is having her first wobbly tooth, she is very excited by this fact as all her friends recently sporting adorable gaps in their mouths.

The event has prompted a self-portrait.

Mother's Day

2010-03-14T10:24:00.000Z

Amy Jenkins, The Independent:

'In my family of origin we never did Mother's Day or Father's Day or wedding anniversaries or Valentine's. There are far too many of them these days for my liking. There's a forcedness about them that makes me dig in my heels and put back my ears.

There's more to love than buying the appropriate greetings card.'

Here is my Mother's Day present. The only one I will ever want.

Fat Does Not Make You Fat

2010-02-27T18:27:00.000Z

Sugar and carbs do.

How does sugar and carbs make you fat? It is really simple. You have a relatively set amount of fat cells in your body. It is just a matter of how big your fat cells are. So what affects the size of your fat cells? Sugar. Because glucose is what is stored in your fat cells. And there is a little "gate" that controls the movement of sugar in and out of your fat cells. And the key to this little gate is insulin. Insulin is the key that opens the gates to the fat cells and allows excess glucose in the blood to go into the fat cells. So if you never eat anything that raises your blood sugar levels beyond normal, your body will not release insulin, and you will not get bigger fat cells.

The body releases insulin to lower blood sugar levels that are too high. So sugar and carbs are actually what is one of the biggest contributing factors to why people are overweight.

The ironic part of all of this, is that when you get food that has "artificially" been made to be low fat, you know what they usually put in when they take out the fat? Sugar. They usually add the very thing that contributes to people being fat when they are trying to make something that many people think is helping them not be fat.

Fat does not make you fat. In fact, you need the essential fatty acids found in fat to live. Sugar is one of the biggest contributing factors to what makes you fat.

If I stitch fast enough, does it count as exercise?

2009-01-02T15:55:00.001Z

Hope it does, here we are, Christmas and New Year are gone and left me with extra stone.

This quilt, Starry Glow, is from McCall' Quilting website. It's on the wall in my tiny hallway giving it quite a warm welcoming feel.

Now only room without quilt is the bathroom. Hmm. Wonder when my family will start complaining about 'quilt overload'.

There is no wrong time for quilting

2008-09-23T18:59:00.000+01:00

Although for me the best time is when my daughter is asleep, my husband's on the sofa, fed and watered, and I'm in my cosy kitchen corner, listening to some Greek dancing music, chatting to my Janome (wonder if anybody else talks to a sewing machine?).
The one under construction is for my daughter's bedroom. I've tried to use as many bright colours as possible. I do feel lack of colour around me; grey sky, grey roads, grey buildings and not much sunshine.
The one on the wall is my very first quilt, made out of my daughter's summer dresses, sadly outgrown. I did not have the heart to sell them on ebay.

Finished is way better than perfect!

2008-09-22T18:19:00.000+01:00

I am quite proud of myself. I CAN finish a quilt! This design is from the best quilting book I've found so far - Marsha McCloskey's Block Party. Some quilting books can be awfully intimidating, but this one gives you wonderfully clear instructions.
I've finished this quilt while my husband was riding his mountain bike all around Holland. Every time I look at the Double Dutch block, I remember how he called me from somewhere near Utrecht.

Before Prozac, there was Quilting

2008-07-25T15:42:00.000+01:00

And I am quilting my anxiety away.

This one is called 'Pot of flowers' and it took me about 4 evenings to finish. All by hand. Without a thimble.

I make plans as I quilt. I dream about a little house set in olive groves; my husband wearing a straw hat, tending to his tomatoes; my daughter's arms and legs all brown from the sun, her cheeks like peaches.